Steel Diver
by Wario the TableMan
Summary: Kirby gets his stubby little hands on the Steel Diver. The result: absolute chaos...


"I can't believe this pudding smells so bad…" said Kirby in anguish. He felt the pot containing the contents in his hands. "I'm so angry I could just…"

Ganondorf almost cried when he heard the hatred in Kirby's tone. He ran over to the phone and attempted to call the police on him.

Kirby saw Ganondorf's attempt and pulled out a pistol. He blasted a bullet of pure steel at Ganondorf and the pigman's hand was severely injured. "Don't pull anything funny, jerk!" He blasted the ceiling with three more shots and everyone in the room screamed in terror. "Nobody leaves until I get the puddin'!"

"We-a tried, mon!" cried Mario. "We-a tried so hard in this institution!"

"You wanna see how hard a fella can try with five ounces worth of iron wedged between his brow?" Kirby said as he lowered the barrel to meet Mario's forehead.

"Oh no! My brother!" wailed Luigi. "Don't hurt my brother!"

"What's his problem?" Mac whispered to Link.

"The kid got a hold of the Steel Diver and now all the powers gone to his head," replied Link.

"Dear butts! What can we do to eradicate this ordeal, mate?"

"Nothing now. Kirby's aim has been so precise as of late. He just shot down Ganondorf point blank and just a while back, both Fox and Falco were blasted off the face of the planet like that."

"'EY!" called Kirby. "No time for chit-chat! I want yous worms to get to work on a tasty puddin', see?" He pointed the Steel Diver at Jigglypuff. "Any more funny biz an' da dame gets it!"

"I like meatloaf!" yelled Jigglypuff stupidly.

"Up an' at 'em, fellas! I ain't got time to horse 'round with all dis mumbo jumbo!" He spit to his side and then pointed his gun at Yoshi. "You wanna see how fast I can get ya'll ta' woik?"

"Yoshi?" said Yoshi with fear. Kirby pulled the trigger and Yoshi was blasted off into the sunset like a ragdoll.

"YOSHI! NOOOOO!" cried Mario. "I was going to chuck him down a pit later!"

"He was gonna what?" said Pit a tad grossed out. A bullet zoomed past his head and nearly tore off his crown.

"Ain't no more words outta you dunce-buckets!" exclaimed Kirby with annoyance. "Get back to woik on mah puddin'!"

Luigi was in tears over Yoshi. The two had gone to school together where Yoshi had graduated with high honors. Seeing this event overtake their friendship was heart-melting for sure. Mario mournfully helped his brother to his feet and they walked into the kitchen to prepare a second serving. This had to please Kirby or else everyone was doomed!

"I have a plan," whispered Link. Mac and Pit turned to him. "It's risky, but the Steel Diver has a weakness."

"A weakness," said Mac stoically as he stroked his chin with his boxing gloves.

"The Steel Diver has only ten shots worth of ridiculous murder potential. Here's the plan. Get him to waste the shots and then we go in to end all this madness."

"We don't even know when the tenth shot will take place though! How many shots have been fired so far?" remarked Pit.

"I've been keeping count," said Meta Knight from the back. "One shot directed at Yoshi, Three at the ceiling, one at Ganondorf's hand, one at Fox, and one at Falco. He also just shot that one at Pit a moment ago."

Link thought deeply about this. "Then if we can just get him to waste two more shots…"

BLAM!

Everyone was startled. They all turned to see Kirby had just blasted the ceiling with another bullet. "I said no commotion out dere!" the pink nightmare growled. "Any more talk an' I'll just give a random pop to whoever I happen to hit! Now zip it!"

"Last shot…" said Link. "I'll block it with my shield…"

"LINK NO!" cried Meta Knight. "That projectile is too strong!"

"I said 'sheddup'!" roared Kirby as he blasted his last shot at Meta Knight in a fiery fit of rage.

Meta Knight could only watch in horror as the bullet came closer and closer toward his mask. He winced as he prepared to take the hit.

"NO!" cried Link.

"BA-CAW!" squawked Pit.

"Good heavens!" remarked Mac.

The bullet met a stopping point, but much to everyone's surprise, the final destination was not Meta Knight. Meta Knight opened his eyes and saw a large shadow looming over him. He looked up and saw a large hairy figure shielding him. Smoke ascended from his left side. Meta Knight could not believe his eyes.

"My deary goodness…" said Mac between tears.

"It's DK…" murmured Link.

Mario and Luigi poked their heads out of the kitchen and gasped at the sight.

Donkey Kong had come to the rescue just in the nick of time and blocked the Steel Diver's bullet from striking Meta Knight. However, the blast was too much for the great ape to handle and he collapsed to the ground in defeat. Luigi was heard screaming in terror and Mario held him back.

"Donkey Kong…" said Meta Knight as he watched DK fall.

Kirby smirked and prepared to shoot another metal pellet at his original target. He gasped when he noticed no bullet left the pistol. Ganondorf came up behind Kirby and grabbed the madman, restraining his movements with his overwhelming fury.

Everyone ran up to DK and helped him up. "DK!" cried Luigi. "Please be all right!"

"No…" said DK weakly. "I think…" He coughed. "I think I did the right thing… for the bros…"

"DK, you didn't have to do that…" said Meta Knight. "I would have gladly sacrificed myself for us all!" He began weeping bitterly. "It was my mistake for alerting him! It's all my fault."

DK slowly reached up and clasped his hand over Meta Knight's shoulder. "No tears… I wanted to do this. The rest of you… deserved to keep going… keep smashing, my friends…" DK let out a single chuckle and then slowly drifted into unconsciousness. It was not long afterward, that Dr. Mario had announced that the champ of a chimp had truly left them.

"DK…" said Pit sadly.

"I say…" replied Mac, one glove holding up is face in sorrow.

Everyone crowded around DK and wept bitter tears for their fallen comrade.

 **Moral**

 **Don't use items or else something like this could happen.**


End file.
